Akela's Den

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Location: Stockholm, Sweden

I'm a female middle-aged gamer. Happily married to a game developer/reviewer and writer. Expect to find many post about games in this blog. There might other stuff too about.. stuff. Oh, a warning. I won't tie myself into a knot over use of language and I might post screenies from games that show some skin. When gaming I like to use mods that show people in a natural way. That includes Dick. This blog isn't intended for sensitive people like parents and grannies anyway. :D

Sunday, June 10, 2007


Brigitte is my second Oblivion character. When I created her I wanted somebody totally different from Skade who is very down to earth. So I created a bombshell. She is Breton so she needed a French name. Brigitte Bardot came to mind and Brigitte it is.

Brigitte is all fun flirt and fashion. She loves attention and has no sense whatsoever when it comes to money. When levelling she favors skills that boost her personality and charm so those are maxed already. Now she plans to invest a bit more in illusion training to further her grasp over people in general and men in particular. She has no pet as she wants all attention for herself, but she might consider the adoring fan if she decides to do the arena quest. After all, she loves to be adored.

Brigitte likes to have fun and surround herself with beautiful things and garments. She flirts a lot and likes to have men fawn all over her. She joined the Thieve's Guild, but doesn't shoplift much. She likes the thrill of bartering too much and the feeling of buying something beautiful for herself.
Here she is charming the ears off poor Maro Rufus at Best Defense. Brigitte wears the snowfur outfit that she just bought from him using a Fortify Mercantile 100 pts spell on herself and a charm spell on him. Poor sod. :)

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

My First Oblivion Doll

When my husband got me the game I thought I'd just create a char and fool around with her for an hour or two. I mean, I was so hooked on Morrowind and planned to at least complete half of the main quest before starting the new Elder Scrolls game. Yeah, right. I'm still obsessed and has been so since Day 1.

I had long thought about creating a character that was true to my own nordic background and heritage. Searching the old Nordic mythology gave me Skade, the beautiful godess of winter, skiers and hunters. I intended her to be a warrior/ranger type specializing in archery. She turned out quite good. As I'm not a fanatic RPG player in the respect that everything my character does has to be according to her role, she's got the basics from my own personality (loves alchemy, wild pets, the great outdoors while being a bit of a fashionista at the same time) and the the rest from the idea I have of the role per se. Thus, Skade is a great fighter and adventurer who wears her daedric armor like a second skin, but as soon as she comes back home she drops it and slips into something more stylish. I took a pic of her in full armour in the mountains close to Bruma. Bow at the ready and Grace, her pet mountain lion, close by awaiting her mistresse's orders.
Skade in Jerall mountains

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Playing With Dolls

That's what it is really. Playing RPGs, mean. I create a character, dress her in various kinds of armour and weaponry and then I play with her. If there's a house for sale I buy it and furnish it. When my char is at home she drops her armour and slips into something more comfortable. What's that if not playing with dolls.

Friday, January 20, 2006

She was so lovely

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I will always remeber her like on this picture. She had jet black hair, eyes like sapphires and a figure to die for. She was my mom and I loved her. Now I have lost her forever and it hurts so bad. She was old, 85, and I know that she feared the institutions where old people are kept (not cared for, not really) more than anything. She need not fear them anymore.

Mom liked to be in control of things. She never wanted anyone to interfere and she never asked for help with anything. I called her every Saturday and January 14th was no exception. She talked about bread she was baking, luncheon with her lady friends and my godmother who had just been transferred to one of those "old peoples' homes" that she loathed so much. Nothing was out of the ordinary except that she had had a fall the week before. She had slipped on the icy pavement and fallen flat on her back hurting her head. Hospital? No, of course not. Not her, and I was silly for asking. However, I decided that once a week wasn't enough. I needed to call her more often to check that she was all right. I called her from work on tuesday. No answer. Well, maybe she had gone out to get the paper. She used to do that. No answer in the afternoon. Well, maybe she had taken the bus to her favourite grocery store. She used to do that almost on a daily basis too. After work I called her from home and now I got worried. Then a friend of hers called and said that she had not answered the phone the whole day before.

We found her on the bathroom floor. She was rushed to the ER. Her sugar levels were off the charts. She was dehydrated. They gave her IV, insulin and had a really hard time taking blood samples from her. An old person, dehydrated at that, isn't easy to draw any blood from. Well after midnight they finally managed to find a room for her on a ward and we went home to get some sleep. The next day she was hardly conscious and during the night she suffered another stroke. The hospital called us early on Thursday morning and then I knew that the end was near. We spent the whole day at her bedside, caressing her cheek and holding her hands. She knew that were there, because when she opened her eyes and I said "Mom, we are here" she smiled that lovely smile of hers. Her blood pressure was sinking continuously throughout the day and in the evening she went away. I held her hand tightly in mine, but still I didn't notice. Neither did she, I hope. She just.. left.

I thought about all the times she had talked about this. Whenever we came to see her she always reminded us that the rent had been paid well in advance and these papers were here and all that stuff was there. We didn't pay much attention. Mom is, for some reason, imagined to be everlasting and indestructable. When she seemed to worry about the end of ther life I used to comfort her by telling about how my father would come to meet her. Dad died in 1972 and there was never a man after him. When asked, she simply stated that "father cannot be replaced" and that was that. So.. I think it happed like this:

Is is a bit after nine p.m. on Thursday January 19th. A Bugatti Royale from the late 40-ies drives up in front of the hospital. It leaves no tracks in the snow. A fine-looking gentleman steps out, his arms brimming with dewy pink roses. He walks into ward 33, room 7. He beholds the white-haired lady in the bed who's bravely fighting to draw one more shallow breath and then another. Lovingly, he lifts the beautiful young woman that he loves out of her frail shell and sweeps away with her in his Bugatti. Away to the Faraway Land where no sorrow and no pain exist. Now, they are probably having coffee with granny and grandpa in their garden. Granny's apple trees are in full bloom and there are sweet ripe apples at the same time because that's how it is in Heaven.

Farewell sweet Mom. Enjoy the freedom of your soul. We'll meet soon again.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

About Gaming

When I met my husband-to-be he worked hard as a reviewer. He gave me Shadows of Undrentide, an expansion of Bioware's Neverwinter Nights, to play and the addiction was instantaneous. I have played it three tims with my main character, Akela, a half-elf Druid/Fighter/Weapon Master. My main char is always named Akela, which is also my internet nick in general. I might elaborate on that later on.

Noticing that I loved fantasy but hated anything that looked even slightly childish or had poor graphics, my husband introduced me to Morrowind. So I was stuck again. I created a Khajiit, a catlike being, whom I trained in melee weapons and alchemy. I got tired of him after a while and created Miko, a human asian beauty who loves flowers and learns anything she can about herbalogy and alchemy. She is also a merciless assassin. I have just started with her and am not yet sure about her development character-wise. I never play evil characters, can't do it, but chaotic good is an alignment that I feel comfortable with most of the times.

Morrowind was followed by Dungeon Siege. I wasn't too happy about the map, but the story was good and I had quite fun with it. Unfortunately I saved the game in the worst possible spot and got stuck between a rock and a hard place. Might start from scratch some time when I'm done with all the other games I want to finish first. Like Sacred (again) and Guild Wars. Guild Wars is my first MMORPG and I started playing it during the alpha test. Continued with all the beta test events and my husband gave me a pre-ordered copy for Christmas 2004. I played it until my eyes bled.

Now, I'm back with NWN again. Akela's baby sister Brigid, human Cleric/Champion of Torm, is fighting her way through the Hordes of The Underdark together with her faithful companion Deekin and the hunk Valen.

This is as far as my first post goes. I plan to review any new games that I play and look forward to discussing them. Please feel free to comment.